My Conscious Imperfection
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Navigating Life From My Little Box.....

5/9/2011

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I absolutely love my book club. It really has just turned into a big spiritual meet up as we are all on the path of developing our individual selves mentally, spiritually and even magically. Each month we get together to discuss the latest chapter in Christopher Penczak's book, The Inner Temple of Witchcraft.  We also get together to work on energy exercises, meditation and even attempt to throw in a field trip to a spiritual/religious place when we can.

I've noticed almost each time we get together happens to be one of my more challenging days or weeks for me. I wonder sometimes how I'm going to get through and quite honestly I probably dont' do it all too gracefully. It's really rather difficult to rip myself out of the smugde of the day or week and then get my head into a place to lead the book study on spiritual matters that speak of handling the day to day in a way that allows one to maintain a positive outlook on life and be free and clear of any thinking that is not conducive to the highest good for oneself.

I feel great after our meetings and any opportunity I get to hang out with the gals of the "Inner Closet" as we like to call it because they soooo get me. (I think? lol) They each don't personally relate to every thing but as I mention in my own journal each one has an experience that they can relate to me about. In addition, they each come with their own wisdom that has helped them deal with it. I have benefited from many of those talks and laughs leaving me feeling stronger to deal with whatever comes my way, at least for a while. In seeing how strong they are and all that I cross paths with, I find myself getting stronger to face my own and if nothing else, bounce back from those "hiccups" faster than I ever did.

Each connection we make, has a message. It doesn't matter if it is the mailman delivering mail who you make small talk with, a mother in law you can't seem to make happy or the ending of a marriage. Every person that crosses your path deserves your  time and attention, coming in and going out. Sometimes it doesn't feel like that Karmic Connection deserves it at the time but remember the message is FOR YOU. What are you learning from this? I look at my past Karmic Connections in the last year and smile now. The last time one of them called to scream at me for something ( Ive yet to figure out) I just smiled and stayed calm. I guess I had decided I wasn't going to let it bother me and just let it pass. When I made the effort to stay calm and keep my head clear from anger, resentment and the feeling of the need to send back what they were giving me, I then began to see what I had to in that relationship.

There are many, many wonderful people around me every day who teach me. I have to put down my PRECONCEIVED judgments, my past hurts and mynarrow and sometimes rather jaded, perceptions from that little box I have build for myself, one we all build,  since I was able to think for myself. I have to put all those aside to be open to the possibilities that negativity, anger, resentment and hate can block out. This has been oh so hard in the last weeks. I lost my Twinflame to his new life. I experienced my daughter go through hurt and suffering. I was also faced with old wounds that I had to try to deal with differently to get passed them.

Am I perfect in doing this? No. Although every day I am seeing that I am loving how life is unfolding for me even through all the tough blows I have faced. I have faith it all leads to something amazing even though I still have my little moments of "insanity" when it's hard to relive the pain or watch your child live through pain. Still, I'm happy more than I am not. I'm finding the perfection within me and in turn being able to look at everything and everyone around me and appreciate them too.

Gosh, I miss my Twinflame. I miss Beau. It's hard for my closest friends to understand that but there is so much more to reveal in my journal on this. I miss the connectedness. I miss the feeling of us being one , together. I miss having ME, MY OTHER ME around. The only other person in this world I think who truly gets 99.995% how I think. Sometimes I find myself bitter and sometimes want to hang on the resentment of never feeling like life works out the way I want it to...then that cosmic 2x4 cracks me in the head to snap me back in and find gratitude and faith that I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be with who I am suppose to be with. That means all my Soulmates and Soul Friends walking along with me while our lives unfold and we continue on our path that may keep us walking together or diverge eventually taking use every where we are suppose to be. Cause really every moment takes us to every where we are suppose to be with whom we are supposed to be with. The difference is how we choose to get there. Would you rather SWIM across the lake or sail a beautiful boat? That's the trick of it all because the important experience/lesson is still gonna be there. ;)

Waiting as patiently as I can for the next perfect moment. Amazing how different life looks when you learn to look at life with love.

Light & Love,

Lily Belle

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The Tumor

5/1/2011

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Tonight, after watching a movie with the kids, I was going to work on my blog concerning what has transpired in my family in the last weeks. It's been a really tough month since Beau left, my Twin Flame. I knew it would be a hard month. I just had this feeling that when he left the flood gates of the universe would open and I would be hit with situations I had to face and deal with, taking me where I needed to be. Well, I called it and sure enough here I am. I am barely keeping my head above water with all that has transpired and waiting for the next "Cosmic 2x4" to hit.

So here I lay starting to write and suddenly a news report hits stating Osama Bin Laden is dead! Dead? After all these years and all these deaths of civilians and servicemen and woman,  here we are. I don't really feel any justice or vindication. I just feel it's path of the humanity is taking toward our ascension together. I don't even think it's going to be the biggest leap into change. I think that is yet to come. While we might think we have removed the "problem", we really have only removed a tumor but the old energy that manifested that very tumor is still there. So much more work is to be done.

As I sit here and read all those Facebook status messages of relief and joy,  I realize so many people are thinking that the threat is gone. Somehow they think because Bin Laden is gone, that the threat and the danger has been removed. This reminds me of the man I did a Reiki session weeks ago with who just had a tumor removed. The area of the tumor was evident to me energetically because that old energy was still in the same place just bulging out of his body. I worked really hard to removed that energy and I think I really made a difference for that moment but I later explained to the man and his family that there was so much work to be done to ensure the tumor did not return. His old way of thinking and responding to life had to change and until that happened, that energy would be there leaving the potential to for new and much stronger growth in the future.

So here we are today, as a country rejoicing the death of Bin Laden. I am sure in parts of the World they are rejoicing too especially those who lost their loved ones on 9/11 . I , myself, am thinking about our Servicemembers who have served the cause, that continue to do so and those Servicemembers that have to face the repercussions of Bin Laden's death. Those left behind will stand for what they believe or were taught to believe.  They will fight the fight and we, the U.S. will respond with the same old ways we always have, by force.

Violence begets violence and feeds the very thing that Bin Laden thrived on. While Bin Laden is physically gone, the energy of that physical being(his intentions) carries on with the Taliban and anyone who chooses to fight it leaving an ideal environment for the old consciousness of humanity to stay a while longer. He might be dead but he is still WINNING. The tumor will grow and manifest once more if given the time unless we, as humans, collectively begin to use a strategy of a higher consciousness.

Sending Reiki to the highest good of humanity.

Love & Light, Lily Belle

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    LilyBelle

    I've always loved to write, and since I've met my Twinflame two years ago I have been inspired to write even more! My Path to a New Consciousness blogs are highlights of important events and experiences I have recorded in my journal.  I hope they give you some inspiration and support to light the way on your own path as much as these experiences have done so for me! ~Love & Light to you!

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