Sometimes it’s easier to find some other truth that is easier to swallow even if it’s not believable to the outside world. As you can see I added Cinderella’s glass slipper as a symbol of just this very quandary. While the fairy tale showed the happy ending, we all know that is not always reality. So in order to avoid pain we sometimes create our own illusion to soften the blow. We find the good and the positive when we desperately want the outcome to be in our favor. Maybe it’s like the old saying “the grass looks greener on the other side” or when we just want something so badly we start to see it just as if it was.
Then we get into a place where we are beginning to see the truth. This especially is true when we are dealing with someone else’s will as well as our own. It is always good to look at the positive in things that we can control to varying degrees such as finding a job or improving our GPA at school but when it comes to the illusion in relationships it can take a long while for one to see beyond those rose colored glasses. It can be gradual depending how the situation plays out. We may slowly begin to lose our hope. We may finally begin to realize that things are not going to be what we want them to and we may even learn to drop our expectation in order to prepare ourselves for the worst case scenario. Is this all it takes? Drop the expectation and then one will find a way to lose their hope; lose the illusion?
Secretly we hang on. Maybe we don’t realize it right away. Once again we delude ourselves into thinking that we can handle whatever inevitable disappointments we have now, preemptively concocted so that we are prepared for the less than desired outcome. Another difficult illusion, except this illusion we consciously know about and can put it aside if we see any inkling of hope. We can also destroy hope.
Then there is the stage that we realize the reality of it all; of everyone involved. We have finally moved on as far as we are concerned in every aspect of our life. We may have even grown from it in varying ways and know that we did. Maybe even feel stronger as a result and as long as we have created a big divide between ourselves and the desire or the illusion; we are able to cope as if nothing else matters. As if we are so strong that given the same scenario, we can overcome the desire and the expectation. The glimmer of hope evades us yet we still find a space for it somewhere inside, for a time that is the illusion; at least until that picnic is finally and completely rained out, leaving us no option but to accept what is left.
I think that is partly what happened to me today. My picnic was rained on. That glimmer of hope squashed even though I knew it really was not attainable. I wasn’t devastated because I had prepared myself for months with all the worst scenarios of which I responded to as if they already existed and as a result grew harder and colder and maybe even told myself I had completely accepted the reality of my situation.
Maybe I did to some degree. Maybe I needed all those steps to get me there. Maybe the only thing missing was what happened today. “The straw that broke the camel’s back”, so to speak; “The last nail in the coffin”. Acknowledging the reality of a situation isn’t always accepting. Accepting requires much more work.
Accepting requires unconditional love. Accepting requires being honest to yourself; being true to your-self. It requires us to say “I’m ok with who I am NOW. I’m ok with where I’m going NOW”. Accepting is being grateful with what you have NOW. Accepting is knowing that letting go allows everyone to actuate their fullest potential. It allows us to see that we can move on and find there are more things to experience; to learn and to love. Acceptance completes the lesson. It stops us from feeling like we are STUCK between reality and illusion. Desire is the only illusion; illusion is separateness while acceptance makes us whole again. Acceptance is devoid of fear and judgment. It is the end of something and a new beginning. It allows us to live our truth confidently and helps others find their own truth.
So is the illusion or the desire that creates the illusion so bad? Not if we are learning from it. Not if we are willing to see the potential in our reality while also understanding our limitedness in it too. Illusion, when not used for the purpose of spiritual growth can only be disastrous. Illusion, in the best of outcomes can reconnect us with source and lead us to the ultimate desire; unconditional love. Perhaps illusion and desire aren't the real enemy. Perhaps we have failed to focus on the right desire. Maybe we are forming the desire selfishly not honoring others desire or maybe our desire is in conflict with a much bigger divine plan for us.
The space between reality and acceptance could be one of resistance. We can convince ourselves that we accept for only a little while before the Universe moves the water of truth over us as we desperately hang on to that large rock in the river; the hope. What may seem like bad currents in our life might really be the Universe telling us “Its’ ok to let go.” We can choose to keep hanging on in hopes that our desire can be fulfilled. Maybe it’s just us waiting for the easy way out. Maybe we keep hanging on avoiding our other knowing only to find more resentment; more anger and more hurt. Hanging on can make us bitter; in the end we may lose sight of our desire all together while also losing more of our truth.
That funny place between what we know is true and acceptance is the place we need the most clarity yet it’s the most difficult to find. It’s the place we need our loved ones the most and a place to sort through what we think is good and what is really good for us. It’s the place we get to see all perspectives; all possibilities and all different forms of love. It a place we can choose to spend as much time in as we want or as little as it is needed. It helps us to peel away illusion to get to the core of who we are and what we are willing to ACCEPT is truth. You’ll know you are there when that illusion comes back knocking on your door and you kindly and gently and lovingly; most of all, fearlessly, bid it goodbye.
Today, I faced more of my truth. I may have already known it was there but it was stuck. It was still between the reality of my imperfect desires and acceptance. It took me a few minutes to realize today that my tears were not of grief or sadness or the removal of hope. My tears were of release and relief. That small thin veil that was left of an old illusion finally fell away; leaving me nothing but all the wisdom of hard lessons learned, the reconnection with my truth and return to my old reality; just with more love and acceptance.