I remember when I made my Master level in Usui Reiki that my Reiki Master mentioned when I went through the attunement process I may later experiences a multitude of symptoms to include becoming irritated with the world around me. Actually, I felt that with Reiki I as well. I had all this new knowledge and awareness and I was finding pretty dang hard to apply it in my life. So instead of looking inward and working on assimilating it into my life completely I just started to look outward and point at all the ways others were not using that good knowledge.
Currently in my life I am at the point again where I am becoming frustrated with my world. I have come into all this great insight about myself and how I respond to the world while trying to find a way to apply it. The thing is most times when we find new information, either through spirit or other means, we many times are using our old ways to respond. For example, my teenage daughter has a boyfriend. She is unhappy with who is associates with as I will not allow her to go to parties and go passed curfew. She has grown really irritable lately with EVERYONE ELSE in her life as she is realizing that his values and goals are not aligning to hers. She has the knowledge that perhaps he does not fit in her world right now but doesn't want to change it. Her words to me this morning were "Mom, why would I break up with him if I can just argue my point?" Ah, my little Scorpio. You know that just threw me into thinking about all the mistakes I have made and I see her as taking on all my "old" habits in relationships that Ive only recently in the last 10 yrs realized I needed to address.
We ALL are continuously gaining insight from spirit but we are also many times trying to interpret that insight with the knowledge, experience and perimeters that have been set for us according to our upbringing, education and faith even. There are so many factors that determine how we interpret things but the main thing here is we may KNOW but stay in our old, comfort zone of responding. Here is where the irritant submerges and the end result could mean a break up with lots of "smoke & flames" when it could have gone a lot smoother. It could also mean an end to friendships in situations where knowledge of changing friendship circles or business partnerships resulted in resentment and anger; maybe never to be healed and mended.
So here I am today and have been for a week now just really feeling like I have gained some wonderful insight and wisdom for myself but looking outwardly around me with frustration and maybe even anger. Looking at all the ways my knowledge should be applied every where else and not realizing that in order to see those results I must put out that frequency by responding in the way I know is necessary. I know that I must be "impeccable with [my] word" , "Don't take things personally", and "Be skeptical but learn to listen"; three of the 5 Agreements by
So today I am thankful for my friend Jennifer who took the time to check on me in a private message today and ask if I needed an "ear", I am thankful for my daughter and Soulmate who reflected back at me just the thing I needed to hear to make me understand what was going on with me. I am also thankful for my friends aka Soulmates who continue to reflect the information I need to hear and experience so I can understand the lesson and understand that it's only when I apply it that I will finally be "free" of irritation and frustration from not taking my own good inner knowing and using it.
One day turn on the radio to a channel with music that you never listen to or don't like. Listen to it. How does it feel? Good? Bad? Are you irritated? When we begin to raise our vibration and awareness but fail to change the channel; our environment; surroundings; thoughts; responses, we begin to resist and fight our own self. Are you going to turn the channel or smash the radio?
Love & Light, Lily Belle