So what does the carrot mean for you? It could be your goals. If could be chasing love. For me lately, the carrot symbolizes that ultimate, amazing, unconditional love that I want to catch and hold on to forever. I keep moving forward so I can reach it but it never seems to get any closer. I get tired sometimes and I stop. I quit. I turn away from that carrot away so I don’t have to look at it any longer. If I can’t get it then why work for it right? I only have a chance to think over my direction before the stick reminds me to keep moving. It keeps me wanting. It keeps me anticipating and it also carries my expectations that I have for that carrot! Every time I turn away and lose my focus of the carrot, I feel the stick. It’s almost like a no win situation really. The seemingly elusive carrot is there but it’s not yet my reality. I see it; I can almost taste it in my mouth; that is what drives me to following it, the taste. I’ve only heard about love as it’s told in fairy tales and maybe even some 1 in a million stories on TV or in the movies. The love I want that is and I know it’s out there and I keep reaching but to no avail.
So I wonder, what is the problem? Why does the carrot or in this case, love, seem unreachable? I have had only a taste of it a few times when I thrust myself into a relationship with someone I meet and feel a connection to. I am in such a hurry to have that love and my expectations so big that when I actually get close enough to the carrot I’ve leapt passed it and into the mud, leaving only me to pick myself up. Yup, that elusive carrot of love has done it again. I’m still walking forward after a short meeting with the stick for an “evaluation and review” of what was and after all the pain and suffering of wanting and anticipating and expecting, that love just isn’t what’s it’s cracked up to be. Or is it?
Recently, I’ve decided that one of my mistakes is that I was only thinking of love in terms of mutual admiration, interest, respect, passion, loyalty, dedication, trust and companionship. Well isn’t that what love is all about? I at least thought so and then realized that I’m 39 years old and have been chasing it for so long that I have forgotten what I’m chasing any more. I feel like all the work I’ve done to reach the carrot has been for nothing. These types of thoughts then take me to consider that I’m not worthy or good enough for that type of love as the stick reminds me to keep moving forward only now I am empty and directionless until I regain my focus and the carrot dangles before me again. Will I reach? Will I move forward? Will I ever get the carrot? Then it hits me; all the thoughts of who, how and when are the divide between myself and my goal. As I walk forward I am reeling over all the details and trying to dictate the meeting with the carrot. I think about how long it has been and wonder how long it will be. The more my thoughts are driven toward the process, the more I yearn for the carrot and reap less motivation. I’ve stopped again only to be reminded of my pain from the stick.
At this point the stick is my only ally yet it brings me no closer. It keeps me moving ahead but it doesn’t tell me how to move. Does it want me to have it anyway; the carrot? I begin to think the stick has its own motive, then I look back and realize the “Carrot and Stick” are under the same command; the Ego. Am I going to let my Ego rule or let Unconditional Love [for self] drive me which is known to reap a much larger return. <3