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The Cosmic Mirror Strikes Again...

7/19/2014

1 Comment

 
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So not sure today was a win. I went to this huge meeting for a nonprofit organization and I opened my mouth a little too much. I know I know you are not surprised but it wasn't too good. LOL Right now I'm pretty sure this nonprofit organization that educates and prevents domestic violence and child abuse now thinks I'm Satanic. LOL

First I had to hear someone say how they would address an abused person that shares their story and as an abused child I chimed in and suggest try not to say "I'm so sorry". I get sick of those words (or similar words). Instead empower them with things and offer them to share their story and volunteer because of their experience. I used examples of other things they said that were good ideas. I didn't shoot everything she said down, just told her some strong statements I thought she said that were better like "I'm listening. thank you for sharing this with me.". We want to empower people and tell them they are worthy and valuable.

The last one was bad. bad bad. Ugh. All the testimonials from staff that work for the nonprofit agency and shared their story all spoke of their Christian religion (god, Jesus) that helped lift them from their dark place after being abused in some way. Some were physical, verbal and sexual. I found out later that the testimonial was for a Christian TV show so then it made more sense to me......I was fine with that. Just I don't want to volunteer for a pure Christian organization, know why? Because I think they push their faith on others. Just like our emergency shelter here who ministers. I can't get right with that. I think it's peoples own path. Anyway, then one of the volunteers next to me jumps  in with "Well I'm a Christian and I'm not afraid to say it. I don't care that people are against Christians and....". I jumped "There are people against all religions (Hello remember Jews, Islam, pagans, etc). Just bias about other faiths too outside of theirs". I was irritated. Given the media coverage of the Chick Fil A stuff then the Hobby Lobby CRAP all I see in my feed is "I'm so tired of having to defend Christianity".

Then I went off "I'm sorry I just am open to all religion and I try to be sensitive to others believes (we're talking patients, clients at this point who we help). I'm very protective of peoples rights to their own faith and I study all of them.

I think this is where I dug myself about to my knees in dirt. *sigh*

The thing is I don't care what peoples faiths are, I really don't. I've been a victim of bias being Catholic. Once. I was so upset to move to the South and be told I was pagan because I was Catholic. So ok, I'm no stranger to her plight but it was OTHER Christians who was telling me I was pagan and my faith (Christian) was wrong.

What I meant to say was people are hurt by religion. That's why I hate to see people use religion when we are dealing with the public. When we are trying to lead someone out of their dark place. Not everyone found their strength that way. What if I told these people in my testimony that a High Priestess of Wicca out of England is the key person who stopped me from killing myself in 2001? Would they use it? NO! I would put money on it. Why? They are scared of that. They don't know what it is and they assume it's bad.

Christianity is one of the largest, if not largest, religious groups in the World. When they are preaching their faith to others not of the same religion , it's ok. When they are violent in the name of evil it's ok. When they want to push their beliefs on their employees, it's ok....but dare anyone from any other belief system to challenge them doing any of that and suddenly they are an oppressed, minority who are victims of judgment. Hmm.

Mind you, not all Christians think this way. There are so many groups but a large majority of them do and while their god and Jesus Christ might be some pretty great allies to have, not everyone who finds their way through life walks the same path nor wants to do so.

So there I am looking like a complete ass. I really meant well. I just need to figure out how the heck I can fit as a volunteer and not feel triggered by these topics. I figured out after all this thinking today and writing that those two topics are my triggers for sure. Maybe it's not Christians but my resistance to Christianity after being attacked as a Christian (at that time) by other Christians. I didn't fit in as a Christian then and I don't fit in as a person who just claims "spirituality". I don't want to be forced in a box. I can't claim Christianity just because I don't want to be "those" people. It really has nothing to do with their god or Jesus Christ. I'm quite connection to both of them, thank you. It's just that box I don't want to be in, see in, think from, ....definitely not one I want to be judged from either or find myself judging.

I find in my 40's I have completely lost my filter. I am so frustrated with humanity yet I volunteer the majority of my waking life to other peoples issues. It's a love/hate relationship really. My frustrations I know are a reflection of me. They reflect my wounds which I deflected. It's so easy to blame others for your discomfort. While I don't agree with those who were so judgmental toward me and think they were wrong, I've pretty much took that frustration and drawn the wrong attention toward me today. I completely showed my discomfort in talking about Christianity and abuse. It's good in one way because I need to work this out before I pursue my counseling license but it also means I have to reconcile my goofs with this group next time we are together. *picks up big girl pants* Sure wish there was a redo button for this day. That's enough of the Cosmic Mirror for me today!

Yours in conscious imperfection,

Love & Light,

Lilybelle

1 Comment
Tanya R link
8/25/2014 05:42:49 am

You are AMAZING and you ROCK! I trust and know that what you shared and experienced in that meeting was exactly what needed to happen. We all have hot button issues that have the ability to bring out this "beast" of sorts...lol! For me, religion is one of them as well. Since this is the case, I much like you, take captive my immediate knee jerk reaction to what I classify many times as religious fanatics. I will be 38 this year and my filter has become just as low with regard to my convictions...lol, nevertheless, my goal is always to respect others and their views regarding their faith. I must say that I have managed to create a healthy balance that allows me to honor the space that I am in and "theirs" as well. I too come from a very traumatic background, thus I have had to learn to create boundaries for myself and honor those, I think this has help me tremendously when dealing with others. Now when I encounter someone that is so conditioned in their faith and religious views I only share when I am inspired to or if asked directly.

So on the contrary, I do not believe that you looked like an ass at all, I believe that you were a beacon of the light of possibilities that needed to shine in that time and space. :)

When I speak and am asked about how I became who I am today, or how I came to view life the way I do, I share that my greatest transformation happened when I decided to be open all possibilities for healing, this included letting go of what I thought I had known in order to learn and grow. Actually, I haven't said it quite like this verbatim, but I do in so many words. I have been brave enough to talk of the "god" of my mother and the "jesus" of my mother who I did not, or could not relate to because my mother was crazy on one end and prayerful on the other...lol!

Anywho, this is way longer than I anticipated. :) I will end by thanking you for being so candid and sharing this story. Many blessings to you...

Tanya

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    LilyBelle

    I've always loved to write, and since I've met my Twinflame two years ago I have been inspired to write even more! My Path to a New Consciousness blogs are highlights of important events and experiences I have recorded in my journal.  I hope they give you some inspiration and support to light the way on your own path as much as these experiences have done so for me! ~Love & Light to you!

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