This thought came to me today when I read a post by a person who was really worried about a loved one. A loved one I never could stand. This loved one is an alcoholic who beat his 1st and 2nd wife as well as attempted to beat me! I never wanted my kids to meet this person but they are a part of my ex's family. I've done all I can to keep them away and just pray I never had to run into them. I haven't seen this person in about 15 years. I don't miss them and I wouldn't shed a tear if I never do. I have felt like ill never forget the things they've done to me or loved ones but the frustrating part is it seems everyone else has forgotten. Ever feel like this?
I almost have felt a certain level of disloyalty from those closest to me whom I would protect, and have, that doesn't seem to understand my pain. Or maybe they don't care? Maybe they agree with them? Maybe they don't love me? When I think about past scenarios and remember the pain I have felt not being understood or the perception of not feeling supported, I remember all the anger and resentment. I mean, I'm a good person right? At least I think I am. I can think of a million things I've done right and maybe even done wrong but many times I can't see what I've done to deserve what people have dished out to me in the past and how seemingly I'm the only one who sees the injustice?
Many of us can't get beyond that feeling and its those same feelings that hold us back from reaching our goals, showing what we really got and being who we are truly meant to be; who we are. So how do you get passed those feelings? Does getting passed them mean you have to forgive or let them in? If I let go and they still speak ill of me or the bad act that they committed has not seen justice, how can I move forward?
This is a tricky path. First if when you think of a person or see their name and immediately all those ill feelings come back, remember they were still wreaking havoc on you mentally, physically and spiritually all the while you forgot about them. You didn't really forget, the pain was still there. You refuse to release it as if its a sign of you " letting them off the hook". Try to remember the only one suffering is probably you and you know that by the fact that you already feel alone on the matter. The ego wants to isolate us to protect us. It wants us to remember that pain so as to not experience it again yet over time we haven't learned the act of holding on and letting go. Hold on to the lesson that you need in this experience. Let go of the pain, anger and maybe even the person. It's likely they don't even see your pain as valid and others can't relate because they aren't in our shoes. Remember the quote " there are three sides to every story; ours, mine and the truth!" There is always the chance their perception of what happened is not yours.
So how do we get passed those feelings? I'd say the minute the anger and resentment hits you wrap it in love and light. Let it go. Give it up to the Universe to decide the outcome. Maybe they are suffering for their actions and you aren't privy to it. Maybe people see what you do but don't feel the need to readdress iit. The main point is release. This type of thinking and the fact you are holding on to negative energy will negatively influence future relationships and how you relate to the World in general.
Many natural healers and those who planned this life to do some serious healing work and soul growth are finding it hard to relate to those around them. They start off trusting everyone, then no one and feel lost. People seem to not change too much around them while the individual is constantly changing. It's a series of unfortunate, divinely and ever so frustrating events that allow them to keep reinventing themselves. When you're always changing its hard to find those who can keep up. It's hard to find ones to relate to and ones who see things from your lenses. Our injustice is not theirs while the greatest injustice of all is thinking you're in a position to judge, after all, look at all the trials and tribulations you've been through, right?
When we feel like this one thing is for sure and that is we have a lot more work to do. We must remember that we don't all have the same experiences and the same idea of right and wrong. We all think our actions are just until we try to put ourselves in someone else's shoes. Maybe we don't think we have to. Some cases are so black and white, who can argue we are wrong? Well. The Universe. From here our problems look so, so big that we think its time to call our own little version of a State of Emergency. Meanwhile, from the Heavens our problems are nothing but a fleck of dust on the map of life.
So why then is it so painful and such a state of disaster up close? That's the human experience. We are here to feel all emotion and experience all kinds of perceptions and states of consciousness, even the seemingly bad ones. It's a case of how close you are going to let yourself get to it and let it get to you. By keeping your energy body healthy and your awareness sharp all the while navigating with an open heart, you can sail through these bumps and curves. So how do we do that? It takes a lot of mindful practice...
Let go. Love. Live . And learn. You don't have to love them. Someone else is doing that. You have to love YOU enough to know that you're worth more than hanging on to yesterday's news. It's the soul version of hoarders folks and its wreaking havoc on your own HAPPY and spiritual hygiene. Lose it before you lose YOU. Remember we are an Avatar and we wrote this story to help us grow. If you really want that person out of your life then get them out of your head; conscious and unconscious. Try this over and over in sort of a mantra...
"I love you with gratitude and without conditions."
Put love out into the world the way you want to receive it. Be grateful for the lessons and don't judge it. Repeat this intention daily.
Love & Light,